"Parents are evil" cited hot 80 after the conflict with their parents is not reconcilable?

As early as five years ago, when the writer Lao Gui launched a commemorative work “My Mother Yang Mo” by his mother, author of “The Song of Youth”, he “represented as realistically as possible The perfect "Yang Mo," complained in the book that Yang Mo's motherhood and affection were lost. The expression of "relentlessness to the child" was once a hot topic in the talks.

At that time, such “alternative” “voices of complaints” to parents was limited to the behavior of niche and individual pioneer writers. However, more and more children are now called “Anti-Parents The scourge's online team expressed similar sharp voices. This name that has caused countless parents’ fury is derived from the novel “Suicide Club” by the British writer Nick Hornby. After the exit of her sister, Jess has become increasingly tense with her father, a nervous mother and education minister. When he failed to puberty, Jess said.

The emergence of this group led to a great social discussion. Some people think that this is just a harmful and unprofitable venting organization. Many of the injuries are caused by their fancy and will soon disappear. Others believe that although the name of the group sounds sharp and negative, there is no lack of reason. Thinking.

What is "the parents are all evil"?

The Internet group named "Anti-Parents Are the Scourges" was founded on January 18, 2008 and now has 15,824 members. Its manifesto says that "opposition is not an end in itself, but an active measure. It is for individuals to further develop into socialization and achieve the improvement of their own quality. We are not not filial piety, we just want to live better. Under the premise of filial piety Resisting the harassment, ignorance, and irrationality of tethering and harassing parents. This requires skill and we discuss together."

In the open group discussion, there are some posts in the top few: "No parents do not love their children, this is No. 1 in countless lies in this world", "Poor Parents in the World", "They will The child is treated as a "thing," not as a person, "the road to the children," and so on. Some of the articles in the book are often reproduced. For example, The Road Rules for Children and Children is taken as the reference standard for the independence of young people. The first, the 22-year-old university graduate should no longer live with their parents. In fact, you should choose to leave your hometown to go to another place. This has nothing to do with the scourge of parents. It is a weaning period for growth. Second, don't let your parents interfere too much with your friends, dating, or even looking for a job. They should be your own business. You should try to support yourself and decide your own path to life. Third, after adulthood, try not to ask your parents for money. They give you money to love you. When the gift is received, you need to know gratitude, but you cannot live on it....

Do you have mandatory control in the name of love?

Since the name "Anti-Parents is a scourge of parents," what do they oppose to their parents? In the post "Psychically Defined Non-Love Acts," there is such a statement: There is a definition in psychology, which says that modern people associate There is an act called "non-love behavior". What does it mean? It is a non-love plunder of close people in the name of love. This kind of behavior often occurs between husband and wife, between lovers, between mother and son, between father and daughter, and between close people in the world. This is often the case between couples and lovers: One says to the other: Look, I just gave up on what I wanted to love you. What I did was for this family. So you have to tell me. How to do it. Many mothers often say to their children: "Look, since I gave birth to you, my work has also fallen behind, people have grown old and turned ugly, and I have sacrificed everything for you. Why don't you study hard?" All these can be called non-love acts, because it is a kind of mandatory control in the name of love, so that others can do it according to their own wishes...

The post also said: I once saw a book about how to be a parent. The author is a British doctor of psychology. She said a very good word at the beginning of the book. She said: "All the love in this world is the ultimate goal of polymerization. There is only one kind of love for the purpose of separation. That is the love of parents for children." The true love of parents is to let children separate from your life as an independent individual as soon as possible. The sooner the separation is, the more successful you will be. In this sense, distance and independence are a kind of respect for personality. Such respect should be maintained even among close people.

It is worth noting that the majority of the groups labelled as "naive", "adolescent teenagers" and "immature adults" are mild and strong. When the team members comfort each other together, many still say "stand alone, leave them, go as far as possible". Someone on the watercress online commented on them saying that some of them wanted to rebel and some wanted to give up. They were more confused. They were fierce, but not necessarily violent. They were all injured children and were more flexible than others. The fiercest words of pretending to be fierce are just the armor of an eggshell, although it looks very hard.

Superficial, naive, meaningless collective catharsis?

The well-known netizens analyzed the firewood for a decade. The parents of these group members are mostly ordinary teachers, doctors, small civil servants, or grass-roots managers of state-owned enterprises. “These people can't be like those who are rich, expensive, and rich. Abundant resources can allow children to surpass the limitations of the current system and even send them abroad in one step. It is not like the poor farmers and laid-off workers, who have more than enough energy to provide the necessary material conditions for the growth of their children. The relationship between these people and the parents in the middle layer saw the cruelty of social competition and the familiarity with various unspoken rules.They could not make their children like the moths like firefighting and resist the various unfair systems and only let their children go. Adaptation.” It follows that “parents often for the sake of their children’s future, they have to let their children cut their feet in order to adapt to the various unfair and humanistic rules and unspoken rules of the society, which is easy to violate the nature of their children and hate them by love.” "The conclusion.

In the opinion of some members whose parents are all evil, this can only be considered as a part of the reason. What's more important is the deep cultural bondage and system lack. They revisited the relationship between Confucianism and feudal ethics. However, the views are not uniform. Among them, there is no shortage of people who think that "the set of things in Confucius's second set is really a set of sexy lingerie tailored for power, hypocrisy, and imprisonment," but more voices are based on dialectical materialist analysis and believe that they should " Take its essence to its dregs."

At the same time, regarding the lack of system, some team members believe that China lacks complete and clear relevant legislation and system constraints, and lacks strict definition and legal protection for violence and sexual harassment that occur in the family. For this, the reporter interviewed Professor Wu Changfeng, an expert on women's studies at the China University of Political Science and Law. She pointed out that from a legal point of view, it is only necessary to mediate outside the court to mediate minor injuries. It is a civil category, and a minor injury only constitutes a crime. At present, only rape is a criminal offence. Sexual harassment is still a matter of civil mediation and is generally resolved through compensation or apology. Therefore, domestic violence and sexual harassment that do not constitute "mild injuries" in the family are unlikely to be resolved by law.

Some legal and psychological experts also said in an interview that this phenomenon is only a superficial, naive collective catharsis and has no meaning. Some parents even said that when they see this topic, they feel that the “headline party” is too lazy to read the content.

Next:Installation, use and regulation of marine diesel generator sets
Previous post: Health Department informed mothers were sewn anal midwife: red envelopes have been returned